Yesterday, I had a bad day emotionally. I was tearing up through most of the church service. I didn’t actually even want to go to church because I knew I was too fragile to deal with people. I forced myself to go though, and was proud of myself for pushing through the pain. Sometimes I push away the people closest to me when I am in this fragile state. I think it is because I have been the most vulnerable with them and know how easily the tears will flow upon opening my mouth to speak to them. That was proven by the fact that I started sobbing while talking to my mother-in-law at church! At this point, I am not angry with God. I think I am sometimes angry with the situation. Selfish me wants an end to this pain and the end would be holding our little bundle of joy. Impatient me starts to take over and wonder why this is all taking so long. So to try and shorten this up a bit, yesterday was rough.
This morning, though, God provided. While I was all worked up, God worked out something. It was just enough news to get me through another day. No, it isn’t an impending arrival, but it provided just enough for my day to be brightened. I am so thankful for that. It seems that each time I am ready to give up, God provides just enough to keep me going. Doesn’t He always? Often we are too enveloped in our own circumstances to acknowledge it. Today, I can say there is a smile upon my face…a welcome presence drowning out the pain of yesterday.
Thank you for your comfort today. For being enough. May I always remember that.